Robyn's Nest - The Parenting Network - Planning for the Unexpected

Planning for the Unexpected

Seeing into the future is a talent most people do not possess. In this article we will help you to plan for the unexpected. Be it death, disability, or accident, it is a parent's responsiblity to ensure that children are safe and cared for.

A legal statement or will is a good beginning. It is not necessary to have an attorney write your will or living trust. You can create your own will or living trust with software available, but it is a good idea to have an attorney review your final documents.

The hardest thing to decide is child custody. Depending on your situation child custody should be decided by both parents.

If you and your spouse are married and living together, you should both select an individual who agrees to care for your young children.

If you are a single parent, the ex-spouse or natural parent would likely receive custody unless there are circumstances which would make that impossible. In that case, you should select an individual who agrees to become your child's guardian. This can be done in your will, but not a living trust.

A living trust is more for property. It can help avoid expensive and lengthy probate processes.

If you're having a hard time choosing someone, take some time to talk with the people you're considering. One or more of your candidates may not be willing or able to accept the responsibility, or their feelings about acting as guardian may help you decide.

If you do not have insurance, look into the types available. Most parents are considered "low risk" due to their age group. An inexpensive form of life insurance is term life. IF you need life insurance at all.

Health insurance is a must for all parents and families. In the event of injury or accident, health insurance will help alleviate the burden of medical bills.

If your employer provides disability coverage, it is an added blanket of protection. Of course, property should be insured as well.

What is a beneficiary? A beneficiary is the person who would receive insurance benefits in the event of your death. Most married couples list their spouse first, then the children second (divided into percentages). A better way of handling this (to further avoid confusion and probate) would be to Name a Custodian Under the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act.

The Uniform Transfers to Minors Act (UTMA) is a law that has been adopted in substantially the same form in almost every state. (The holdouts are South Carolina and Vermont.)

Under the UTMA, you may choose someone to manage property you are leaving to a child. This person is called a custodian. If you die when the child is still under the age set by your state's law -- 21, in most states -- the custodian will step in to manage the property. (Older offspring get their property outright.)

To set up a custodianship, all you need to do is name a custodian and the property you're leaving to a young person. You can do this in your will or living trust, or when you name a beneficiary for an insurance policy, if you're leaving life insurance proceeds to your kids. For example, your will might state, "I leave $10,000 to Michael Stein, as custodian for Ashley Farben under the Illinois Uniform Transfers to Minors Act." That would be enough to create the custodianship if it's ever needed.

Keep documents in a safe place, but remember to tell someone about where to find it. A safety deposit box is not the best place to keep your will and other legal documents. It would be difficult for someone to obtain through the bank.

Copies of documents should be given to the custodian you select.

After all the legal stuff is done, now you can get personal.

Start making notes, lists of the little things that you might want for your child.

Create Photo albums or books.

Create a video for your child. Be sure your child knows where your videos are kept.

Talk to kids about your back-up plans. In terms they can understand. For example, "If Mommy is not at the bus stop when you get home from school, you are to go to Mrs. Brown's house."

Tell and show kids that they are loved every day. Hugs, kisses, songs, and games are reminders to children that they are special and loved. Resolve conflicts with older children before saying goodbye for school.

Connect daily. Connect with you kids on some level daily. Connect with your spouse too! Find a code word or something that says "Love you, have a nice day."

Talk to your kids about death. Use opportunities like the loss of a pet or relative to talk to your children. Even very young children can grasp simple ideas. Most kids worst fear is losing a parent. Talk openly about his/her fears. Help them to feel secure.

Reinforce religious beliefs. Give them reassurance so they feel safe. Whatever your spiritual or religious beliefs are, it's important for kids to have a higher power they can call upon, trust and look to. It's just as important for adults.

Answer questions truthfully. Be as honest as you can when answering children's questions. If you don't know, say so.

Revisit your plans as needed. Have you moved? Have your children's needs changed and a new custodian should be selected? Keep your records up to date as best you can.

You know, no one knows what will happen today or any day. Taking responsibility for your family and planning will help not only your children, but you, the parent to attain some peace of mind.

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Plan for the unexpected