by: Martha Wegner
Mother's Day is just around the corner, and I have to admit it: this holiday makes me ever so slightly uncomfortable. It makes me think of the mother in the Hallmark commercials. She is smiling. She is calm. She is helpful. She has put the kids to bed without raising her voice. She is wearing make-up and her hair is combed. She is worthy of honor. I sometimes have to wonder if I am worthy.

When after much pain and agony (they call it labor) I was handed this new baby and declared a mother, I expected a manual to arrive in the mail. In this manual it would tell how to make a double batch of brownies for the school bake sale. There would be a section on making costumes for the church play. A chapter on doing the Girl Scout cookie order without screwing it up.
It would have an entire section devoted to talking to your children rather than yelling at them. I would need to read this section twice.

Instead I was given nothing, short of free samples of Similac and Pampers.

I remember when my son was 3 years old; we learned he had a medical condition, which would require major surgery. As we sat in the doctor's office discussing the prognosis, the different options, and various other medical decisions, I kept waiting for my own mother to walk in. I knew that she was the parent, in fact, had always been the parent, and that I was just sitting there because I had happened to give birth to this child. I hadn't yet officially been handed the instructions. What a surprise that they were actually asking me about this child's care!

But you know what? I did it. I was the mother. I asked good questions. I, along with my husband, made decisions regarding his care. I comforted our son through his tears, and I slept by his side in the hospital. And I didn't even need to look it up.

Could it all be just trial and error? Do they really come without instructions? My friend Mary tells me, "you do your best, and if you mess up, just be sure to apologize at the end of the day." I have asked my children's forgiveness countless times.

My friend Rachel is pregnant with her first child. She told me that she would like to be a mother like me. I was shocked! Me? The one who has to call her own mother to ask her how to make lasagna for the potluck? The one that can't sew a straight hem? The one that yells just a little too much? "Yes," she said, "Because you look into your children's eyes and listen. You are compassionate and thoughtful. You are an advocate for your kids. You teach your children how to act around adults and other children. And most importantly, you laugh with them."

I guess I'm still a long way from the Hallmark model. But if they give out points for trying, I know I'm at the top of the list in that department. And if they give out points for loving my kids, well, like all moms, I'm king of the hill there too.

So, in honor of my great efforts, my undying love, and doing this all without a proper manual, I will let them honor me on Mother's Day. I will comb my hair; I will even put on make-up. I will try to not to yell. And I will not squirm with discomfort because, I am worthy.

Martha is a freelance writer whose works have appeared in such magazines as "Minnesota Parent", "Minnesota Women's Press," "Colorado Parent", and "New York Family", among others. Her essays also appear in a weekly column, "A Word in Edgewise", which may be found at www.marthawegner.com.

Robyn's Nest Quick Link Back One Page Home Page Pregnancy Birth-3 Months 3-6 Months 6-9 Months 9-12 Months 1 Year 2 Years 3 Years 4 Years 5 Years You can also do a Keyword Search

© 1996-2005 by NYBOR, LLC. All rights reserved.
All material on this Internet site is protected by U.S. and international copyrights. Only personal use of such material is permitted. By accessing this page and this site, you expressly agree and consent to the foregoing terms and conditions.
Legal Statement
Privacy Statement

Robyn's Nest ~ A Worthy Woman